Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Special Leave

There you go. I'm applying for a special leave from UiTM. Currently I'm in Semester 2 of phD in Financial Criminology (AR952), however, with me still recovering from all the pain & traumatic experience, I think it's best for me to go on a leave and recharge and come back soon with a bang!
The whole process is quite easy, I must say. As for me, I just asked a supporting letter from one of many doctors, this time Dr Tarmizi gladly handwritten me a letter. I love you Doc! Just hand it over to Kak Azizah of Post Grad office. She said she'll have a meeting regarding my application and most likely will be successful. Hoping for the best. Lets get better!

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

My weight loss journey







 
2015


2016



2017



2018




After being in & out of the hospital since May

I was already losing weight from dieting before I got sick. I realised that I've gone overweight when I was working with ARI - well good food, too hard to resist..I was at my heaviest...and started dieting right away after I left ARI in 2016. I reduced my carbs, red meat, caffeine and sugar intake. By 2018 I was already down to 68kg from 90++kg. After I got sick, I lost even more weight, I'm currently around 55kg-59kg.



Sunday, September 9, 2018

Getting there, getting better - Episode 6

sambungan dari episod 5...

"Post laparotomy myomectomy for leiomyoma" lah yang aku dengar setiap pagi sewaktu rondaan rutin dilakukan oleh Doktor Pakar. Fibroid aku tu 'leiomyoma' dan 'laparotomy myomectomy' merujuk kepada bukaan di abdomen tu. Selepas pembedahan, luka operation aku sembuh dengan cantik-bak kata Doktor.. takde nanah, takde komplikasi berkaitan luka. Cuma keadaan buah pinggang yang sebelum ini dikompress oleh fibroid, masih lagi tidak pulih sepenuhnya. Bacaan GFR yang sangat rendah, lebih kurang 17 je. Creatinine pulak baru nak turun, dalam range 500++.. Pendek kata, keadaan kidney aku sangat tenat. Oleh itu, Doktor Nephro mengarahkan aku diberikan 5 beg drip setiap hari. Bayangkan 5 beg sehari, 10 hari = 50 beg wei! Tambahan pula, aku dipasangkan CBD - beg urin..masuk lah air berapa banyak pun, takkan merungut untuk ke tandas lah..Badan aku masa ni lebam-lebam teruk sangat sampaikan drip dimasukkan ikot salur kat leher tu, darah pun ambik melalui situ je. 


Dua hari selepas pembedahan, Dr. Anita sempat meluangkan masa melawat aku di HRPZ (II). Dia mengucapkan kesyukuran atas kejayaan pembedahan. Sambil tu, sempat juga dia memberitahu kepada nurse supaya menghentikan drip kepada aku. Katanya, " Saya rasa dah boleh hentikan drips dulu ni, dah lebih air ni. Patient dah lebih air ni"Tapi nurse tetap bertegas, kata mereka, ini arahan dari unit nephro dan mereka tak berani untuk ingkar. 5 hari setelah pembedahan, aku dibenarkan pulang ke rumah. Waktu ni aku dah rasa tak sedap badan. Badan aku sangat-sangat kembung masa ni, kembung dengan air. Aku ingat lagi bertanyakan kepada salah seorang HO in charge, " Doc, kenapa saya rasa macam lelah bila nak baring ya?", lalu dijawab, " Kalau rasa macam tu, lapikkan bantal kat belakang badan,tinggikan sampai rasa selesa, jangan lupa naikkan juga katil". Jadi aku ingatkan takde hal la rasa lelah camtu. Drip aku hanya dihentikan pada saat-saat akhir sebelum pulang je wey. Gigih la dorang nak dripkan aku. Masa ni, aku tak muat baju yang aku bawak wei.. baju aku yang saiz XXL tu tak muat. Bayangkan betaapa kembung nya aku masa ni.

Balik je rumah, malam tu, ngantok sangat dah, aku cuba nak baring tapi tak boleh. Rasa macam sesak nafas gitu. Tapi sebabkan dah tanya Doktor awal-awal, katanya takde apa hal cuma tinggikan bantal je, so aku tinggikan lah..alamatnya, keadaan duduk ialah paling selesa. Banyak masa aku duduk depan tv je. Tak larat nak bergerak walau ke tandas. Gerak 5 langkah dah tercungap-cungap. Makan minum semua umi sediakan. Aku tidur dalam keadaan duduk 90 darjah ya selama 5 hari. Waktu ni badan aku sekembung-kembung amat. Bagai dipam angin! Kulit aku pun habis pecah, menggelupas dan merekah. Aku memang tak larat nak berjalan - jadi mengah macam lari pecut! Badan aku berat gila. Nak cakap pun tercungap-cungap. Tapi aku tetap jugak bertahan. Sebab hari ke 10 selepas pembedahan, aku perlu ke Wad Mawar untuk membuka stapler pembedahan. 30 Mei 2018, aku ke Wad Mawar, HRPZ (II). Sampai je sana, aku naik kerusi roda. Masih tak mampu berjalan. Waktu di wad, berat aku ditimbang, 80kg weh!! 80kg penuh kembung dengan air.
  

Nurse mintak aku tunggu di bilik rawatan untuk buang stapler. Prosedur ni simple saje, day care je. Bila nurse suruh baring, aku cakap, " saya tak boleh. Lemas." Aku cakap kat nurse, "buang je cepat-cepat ya nurse. Saya rasa lemas, tak boleh bernafas!" Laju je tangan Nurse Che Pah buang 34 stapler tu. Serius, kelemasan mengatasi  sebarang kesakitan.  Siap je buang stapler tu, nurse keluar untuk memanggil Doktor untuk memberikan pengesahan. Aku mintak untuk duduk sebab aku memang rasa sesak nafas. Datang je doktor, tekejut beruk semua orang! Sebenarnya, keadaan aku sangat-sangat tenat!!
 Aku terus diarahkan masuk wad serta merta! ECG, ECHO ujian jantung terus diaturkan. Aku sebenarnya sedang kelemasan. Air sudah memasuki paru-paru dan juga menjejaskan jantung.  Keadaan aku didiagnosis kan sebagai, APO (Acute Pulmonary Eodema). dilated cardiomyopathy. Keputusan ECHO menunjuk kan 31% , kemerosotan fungsi jantung yang teruk. Aku dipakaikan salur oksigen untuk membantu pernafasan. Serta merta aku diberikan Lasix untuk buang air berlebihan dalam badan dan juga bisoporolol untuk menstabilkan jantung. Elok aku berehat di wad, datang pulak unit infection control, katanya macam ada terjumpa kuman e-coli dalam urin aku. Maka nya aku perlu dipindahkan ke bilik pengasingan. Aku di situ sehingga lah dibenarkan pulang pada 6 Jun 2018. Takde jangkitan e-coli pun cuma langkah berjaga-jaga je. Punya la boring kan sebab terasing. Nasib baik la Dr Syahrin bertugas di Wad Mawar ketika tu. Dia je la yang sudi jenguk-jenguk aku.
sebelum & selepas Lasix selama 6 hari
muka tak dapat terima hakikat kena warded balik-isolation room pulak tu

allowed to go home after a week. Sooo happy!
TCAs and appointment masih ada lagi. Tapi stakat ni aje lah cerita bersiri ni.
Aku tak larat nak cerita in details, sebab nanti korang makin tak paham, complicated sangat.
Kiranya ok lah cerita stakat ni. Lepas ni jangan lupa jaga makan, jaga kesihatan.
Antara perkara yang aku selalu ambil remeh sebelum ni.
Ok bye!  Next entry aku tunjuk evolusi seorang Kapika ya

If you have any questions regarding fibroid, or the treatment or want me to recommend the Doctor for you, just drop your message in the comment section below.






Sunday, September 2, 2018

Getting there, getting better - Episode 5

Beberapa hari sebelum pembedahan, aku diberikan pemindahan darah kerana tahap hemoglobin aku yang terlalu rendah. Persediaan untuk operation lah ni. 3 beg darah in total. Beg pertama, OK.. beg kedua, NOT OK!!! Badan aku memberikan reaksi alahan yang teruk kepada beg darah yang kedua. Sewaktu pemindahan darah sedang berlaku, tiba-tiba muka aku jadi kemerah-merahan macam naik ruam tu, pastu terus gatal-gatal yang amat sangat..pastu teruk jadi macam bengkak cemana ntah, macam terkena sopak garam. Nak menangis aku panggil nurse! Tengok je la sendiri macam mana keadaannya. Nasib baik nurse ada, terus datang inject ubat. Nasib baik beg ketiga tu takde reaction dah..berdebar weh!
Dah la aku sememangnya dah swollen dek kerana drip yang tak putus- arahan dari Nephro team. Kau bayangkan perasaan aku.. belum sempat beg drip ni habis, nurse dah datang sangkut the next beg. Nangis wei...redha je lah, ni semua kerana keadaan buah pinggang aku yang terjejas teruk masa tu. Doktor Nephro siap pesan lagi, selain drip ni, kalau mampu, minum la air 3L sehari untuk bantu bersihkan buah pinggang.. masa ni urin aku berwarna sangat gelap, dah bercampur darah skali rasanya. Kadang-kadang ngalahkan Nescafe O kalernya - kondisi ini dipanggil, hematuria. Setiap subuh, akan ada HO yang kejutkan aku untuk ambik darah bagi renal profile (RP). Dah la satu badan dah kembung, habis lebam sebab urat aku halus - susah nak ambik darah. Kadang-kadang 2,3 orang HO datang try & error. Aduhhhh.

Pada malam sebelum pembedahan nurse dah datang bagitahu yang aku kena puasa untuk operation esoknya. Keesokkan pagi, subuh-subuh lagi nurse cakap yang aku dah boleh siap-sedia untuk dibawa ke dewan bedah. Apa lagi, aku mandi kasi wangi lepas tu pakai baju operation, then duduk tunggu stretcher sampai. Masa ni aku dah berdebar-debar gila. Aku duk ulang baca doa tidur je- ye lah aku mungkin tidur tak bangun-bangun wey. Aku ulang doa tidur smpai la aku dibius.


Pembedahan mengambil masa lebih kurang 4,5,6 jam la.Ntah nya aku pun tak pasti. Yang pasti, Umi aku cakap yang Dr. Anita keluar dari dewan dengan muka gembira sambil mengucapkan tahniah kepada ahli keluargaku. Katanya, alhamdulillah, tahniah kerana semuanya sudah selamat dan ianya hanyalah fibroid-bukan kanser. Jadi tak perlu sebarang kimoterapi selepas ini. Umi aku dan Dr. Anita sama-sama nangis sambil berpelukan.
 

Sewaktu berjumpa pakar bius tempoh hari, beliau ada menyatakan kebimbangan yang aku mungkin akan terus koma dan mungkin akan dimasukkan ke ICU selepas pembedahan. Namun, dengan kuasa Allah swt, selepas pembedahan, keadaan kesihatan aku amat baik dan aku mampu bertindak-balas kepada para doktor. Maka aku terus dibenarkan dibawa ke Wad Mawar semula. Kaki aku dibalut dengan mesin pengurut bagi melancarkan aliran darah. Betapa rimasnya sebab panas sangat. 2,3 jam selepas pembedahan tu aku mulai sedar sebab terasa amat dahaga. Rupanya baru ku tahu, bila kita menjalani pembedahan, tekak akan rasa berkahak dan batuk-batuk tu perkara biasa. Cuma ianya azab sebab aku kan operate kawasan perut..nak batuk kan tenaga datang dari kawasan perut...bayangkanlah kesakitannyaaaaaa..rasa macam nak terburai balik tempat operate tu. 

Nampak tak macam mesin sebelah aku dalam gambar tu? Tu la mesin yang ada ubat tahan sakit - morfin. Setiap pesakit yang baru siap dibedah selalunya dibekalkan dos morfin ni. Pesakit boleh tekan sendiri dos ni setiap kali rasa sakit. Ada pesakit yang tak dan dan asyik duk tekan sampaikan mesin ni hang! Aku pulak, punya la lalok, tak rasa sakit apa pon, tak tekan sampai sudah. Sewaktu nurse datang meronda dorang terkejut bila tengok morfin aku masih lagi banyak. Apa lagi dorang yang tekankan. Selepas operation ni aku rasa penat duk asyik batuk je manjang. Rasa kering tekak tapi tak lapar. Lagipun aku tidak dibenarkan makan dulu sebab operation tu kan usik organ dalaman aku. So kena hati-hati, kot terkejut.

Lalu bermula la episod sebagai pesakit dengan titlte "Post laparotomy myomectomy for leiomyoma". Canggih kann nama operation aku tu. Itu la yang aku dengar setiap pagi bila HO repot kepada Doktor datang meronda. Lagi satu, sedar-sedar dari operation aku perasan ada 3 tiub amenda ntah tergantung at leher aku. Rupanya, sewaktu pembedahan Dr.Anita dah siap-siap  pasangkan tiub2 kat part yang doktor toreh untuk letak ivc filter sebelum ni, sebab dia tengok badan aku dah kembung dan bengkak, susah nak ambik darah dan masukkan air ke apa. Dan selepas ni, menyusul lah episod huru-hara aku. Penyakit dah buang, penyakit lain pulok dapat! Aduhai



Friday, August 31, 2018

Getting there, getting better - Episode 4

Before I proceed with my operation story..I would like to take you into the journey of discovery of the fibroid. How it's actually detected and whatnot.. So basically, in the earlier episodes, I've told you that I was having fever right? Actually fibroid or the alike could be a silent killer. This is because in some patient like me, I didn't suffer from any abdominal pain or cramps or anything like that. One thing for sure is that, during my period, I'll get such abnormal flow on the first few days- and that's it! But I actually do found out that my tummy was a bit bumpy on the right side, but couldn't give any damn about it. Well, I'm very active and healthy most of the time. I wasn't even born at the hospital! The first time I'm admitted to the hospital was when I did my eyes operation. So, you'll see where I'm coming from when I said I couldn't give any damn.
 

After CT Scan was performed on me -urgh, I could still recall the taste of that CONTRAST- the doctors confirmed that it was a huge mass in my lower abdomen. Fearing that it's an ovarian cancer, they referred me to Dr. Anita- an Obgyn specialist there. During the first consultation, she told me that they were unsure of the huge mass, either it's cyst or fibroid or ovarian cancer due to the location of the mass. Here's some of diagrams that Dr.Anita drew to explain about it. You see, the huge circle she made was referring to my fibroid. The size? of 26-28 weeks of pregnancy - around 2kg. Massive, right?
On the second meeting, after further inspection, she told me there's high probability it's ovarian cancer but she couldn't be sure about it too. Because of this mass, DVT was developed in both of my legs veins. That's answered my questions of, "Why my toes getting darker and darker by days?" Turns out it doesn't get enough blood supply la!!!!! For the DVT, I was prescribed Clexane - a blood thinning agent.

Dr. Anita suggested to run a pathology test. She said she'll collect some sample from the mass inside my abs through a simple procedure, and will get it tested. Dr. Anita afraid that it's cancerous due to the fact that the mass has such numbers of blood supply going into it. If it's cancerous, she calmly told me that she's going to remove my reproductive system in fear of the cancer spreading, or if it's not, then she'll just remove the tumor alone. Mind you, all of these happened during the 25th April - 12th May, however when I was admitted on the 12th May, Dr.Anita told me that she could no longer wait for the pathology test. Instead, she suggested that she'll cut me open as soon as possible, while I'm opened, she'll send the cell to pathology test. Whatever the result she'll proceed as per discussed...and that bring us to the next episode..

Dr,Anita.
Credit:Kosmo
Here's some reading from KOSMO! for all of you regarding ovarian cancer or obgyn related problems. Read it and you'll understand why my doctor, Dr.Anita is so concerned about the matter and she'll do her very best to save your reproductive system.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Getting there, getting better - Episode 3

Continuation from Episode 1 & Episode 2

Dr. Anita, thought that she needed to rush and go ahead with my operation as soon as possible. We can no longer wait because it could really jeopardise me. The Ureteral stenting and nephrostomy procedure was done on the 13th May, and it cost us around RM 8000. I'm so forever thankful for my family, for when I need sooooo much money, without hesitation my siblings offer to rally money if needed.

On the 14th, I was discharged from KPJ and Dr Anita transferred me to Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab (II).It felt like checking out from KPJ and check in into HRPZ II- like changing hotels. Checking out process took ages and I was able to go to HRPZ II only later that night. Dr. Anita had already settled the registration process prior to my arrival and I just went straight to Wad Mawar,  waddling-walking since I got CBD stuck hanging from inside me. So uncomfortable, urgh! 

Due to the obstruction, there was blood clot within my legs veins. Hence, an operation to cut me open would be very risky. Blood clots in the veins of the legs and pelvis can occasionally travel to the lungs where they may cause a pulmonary embolism or blockage. IVC filters help reduce the risk of pulmonary embolism by trapping large clots and preventing them from reaching the heart and lungs.  To avoid that, a filter MUST be inserted into my vena cava. Dr. Anita uses her connection in HUSM and arranged an IVC Filter insertion for me at the radiology department in HUSM. Actually, it would have easily cost me RM 10,000 for the equipment alone, but she assured me that she had already reserved the IVC Filter for urgent patient like me, hence no charges at all. Even the doctors were amazed to see the expensive equipment. On the 16th May, an IVC filter was inserted and I was awake throughout the procedure.
  

My operation was scheduled on 21st May 2018. Two days before the big day, I was called to the anaesthetic department. They would like to explain to me all about the operation risk, and actually prepare me for the worst that could have happened inside the OT while I was under anaesthesia. One thing that gave me chill to the bone was when the doctor politely told me that," Syafiqah, you have DVT / blood clots within your system. So, your operation will be a high-risk operation. Although the filter have been inserted, sometimes, the blood clots could still travel within your veins. In case of the clots travel to your lungs or heart during operation, it would caused you death on the OT. Or, in case of blood clots travel to the brain, it will cause you stroke or paralysed you. BUT no worry, in case of anything happen, we already reserved a bed for you in the ICU".

in operation gown..
waiting for trolley..
it's my bloated face from the drips, 
actually I kinda died a little 
after meeting the Anaes
Although the doctor meant well, her words just kept on ringing in my head for the whole day. I actually sent out so many messages to family and friends, asking for forgiveness - preparing myself for the worst. You might as well got my message too! I might actually die! on the OT! Just look at my 'pasrah face'. I was literally shaking and shivering from all the dying thoughts.. Never have I ever ever ever even in my slightest dream imagined that I have to go through such painful experience. 

Whilst waiting for the trolley to the OT, the nurses told me to come back to the ward after operation. They said, " Later, come back here, do not go into the ICU. Come back here, we'll be waiting". Sounds like nothing but it sparks hope in me. The operation was led by Dr.Anita. She look extra awesome that day. She's my superhero. She truly look like my savior, my superman, she look so charismatic, so different from her soft lady-like daily look. She look like as if she's ready to go into warzone. Just watching her give me chill and strengths. 

The operation took about..... to be continued... I'm literally shaking again recalling what the aneas told me..what a scary world!!

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