Good old days

Tengah syok2 layan fb,tiba2 Ain share video Samson and dia ada tulis tringt zaman muda2 remaja time diploma dulu..oo yeah, maka minda pun termelayang balik ke era itu. Oh sungguh girang,tubuh cergas je,sbb msih muda belia, hati senang, kawan sekeliling pinggang, join segala macam pesta-fesko,feskem, hiya-hiyak maen taekwondo, joging aka jalan laju skit dr siput keliling campus, lepak kt food court sbb byk free time, pinjam basikal wktu ptg/weekend kt unit sukan, exams kat dewan pro dan apa segala teknik nk tiru di applied, penat nk tcbut kepala lutut pnjat tangga 'batu caves' , bantai nasi kukus Sigai xhengat donia, berebut2 kain semayang kt PI, even makan kt cafe hostel pun bajet free lagi,sbb UiTM dah tanggung..ohohoi! sebak jugak rasanya kan,kan,kan,kan.. and accordingly lah kan,tiba2 jugak terimbau last day zaman diploma itu.

I remembered I shed bucketful of goodbye tears. Nangis sebab sedih nk tinggal kan satu zaman yg sgt seronok. Bukan hanya seronok bodo je,tp blaja byk bnda tntg kehidupan jugak. I even dream of growing old and wiser together with my friends.Zaman itu kita berkawan sbb kita nk kawan .Bukan sbb cantik ke hodoh,bukan sbb minat, bkn sbb ada kereta,bukan sbb CG tp maybe jugak kot sbb CG zaman itu mmg lah hensem xhengat donia! lg lah bukan sbb duit,bukan atas apa2 sbb,well, maybe sbb kita roomates, lecturemates, Ko-mates,etc-mates lg, tp tu la, because at that time, kita2 still pure and innocent kot.. *me not included kot*

Segar lagi dlm kepala nie, last day, dh ciap kemas2, hati berdebar2 nk jumpa kwn2,jmpa for the last time before break utk smbg degree. Walhal dh taw ttp dpt smbg skali,tp still ttp nangis,sob-sob blkg bilik dorg sorg2,sbb dah xtertahan sebak,sbb dlm hati ada satu rasa sedih yg amat sgt,rasa2 mungkin itu kali t'akhir kita kawan?last time kita jumpa? Firasat hati mmg tepat,kan.mmg la..agak2 yg t'akhir jgk la. Rindu giler kt Macik aka Diana, wlau rmai yg anti dia,tp dialah antara besties sy. That indeed the last time we met.I miss u Macik! :'( and don't even mention Abip, sgt di rindui jugak, kwan susah senang dr awal2 sem 1 lagi, partner yg ajar account smpai terkena dgn Madam Faezah,ciap kena sound dgn Kak Bi lg sbb rapat sgt..and now dia dh selesai degree lgi awal dah,jelesnya!

Sekarang... tgok kiri,jeling kanan..hmmmph,xde sape2 daaa.. ye laa,sbb duk rumah,org len sewa bersama2 dpt la spend masa2 terakhir yg mahal ni sama,tp sy.... nasib baek ada roommates and hosuemates jugak. Anyhow, zaman2 diploma ialah zaman yg sgt2 di rindui! :') *sobs*

*Kenang zaman silam skit! *

rindu zaman riang ria ini

korg dh sombong dgn ak,

mntg2 la dh xperlu lg dtg basuh keta kt umah ak,

and dh xperlu lg tompang letak moto kt umah ak wktu cuti sem..

and sbb CG ak dh xmcm dlu kan..

smpai ati kan.

Gumbira hati muda remaja

Bila lg nk trip cmni,maybe ni last kot.

Macik yg dirindui selalu! My macik!

Sister!

xDD not exactly! this entry is not dedicated to my real sister, but to my lovely sister that i met at Intan Accounting firm. kekeke, her name,lets just call her Kak Filah (sis Filah).. the first time we met was almost 5 months ago. that time i was at the HQ,it was my first day of practical training. we were asked to introduced ourselves. there were 8 of us(?),not quite sure now. we all were called into the office,and had a brief introduction session. my 1st thought of her then was, "she's sweet". well, at least she seems like a sweet person to my eyes:P

almost a month there, i came to realize i never-ever said a word to her,and neither she. after sometime, she has 'this' vibe to her, like i'm scared of her!! hahahaha and then, the boss told me that three of us will be located to a new office that will be opened in Pasir Puteh.those 'lucky' 3 happened to be me, Ain and Kak Filah. ever since that announcement, i said to myself,that i must make friend of Kak Filah, but then, i couldn't even get close to her.hahahaha, really, i was really intimidated by her,i don't know why.

however, there's always good news. a fellow friend told me that Kak Filah is a K-poppers tooo, meaning that she love Kpop. i further asked, how deep is her love for Kpop? the friend told me, well, almost as my level. hahahahaha, at that time, i phew-ed.. this is great start. well, we're gonna have sooooo much more to talk about.

then, we moved to Pasir Puteh. only three of us stranded here :P bosses from HQ would be making trip to our new office just ensure we're settling well. i still remember, borrowing her external disk to copy some Kpop videos,just to discover she's almost the mirror image of me!!! hahahahaha, we both categorized our Kpop videos in the same order,and looking at her, feels like looking at myself.we're so much alike. (at least that's what i think) just that i don't have her flawless skin :P

at that time too, situation at home was getting sour. i was depressed. i bottled everything inside me, i do not tell other, i rarely share my feeling with others.as i think my friend would be too immature for me to share my problems.

luckily there's Kak Filah. she's older than me by few years. to her i would spill a hell loads of things. we would talk about my problems, and sometime she told me hers. it does feel nice to have somebody listening to us ranting and to share our feeling and thoughts. i don't know why, i trust her. talking to her would make me feel a miles better,each time. she listens to me, and at the same time would give me great advices. as time goes by, just the sight of her,lift a lil bit burden from me.

so,the point of this entry? yes, i don't have any words to tell her or to describe to her how grateful i am for having a wonderful friend like her. she's indeed a great sister to me. if it was not for her, i think i might be extending this practical training to next semester.all thank to her for giving me strength to carry on. i wish i could do something in return too. Kak Filah, Thank you sis, only Allah knew how grateful i am to meet u! Thank u,Thank u! Love u!

Into Me

the usual me could be best describe as easy-going,fun,positive and bright (emotionally), however, on my bad days, i'd be blaming anything,everything,all the things from the under,above, and even in between the skies. luckily,i rarely had bad days, maybe just twice in a month,(if) or even worst when PMS is nearing. and when i'm in my right mind again,i'd feel sorry for the things that i've said,thought,done and even planned to do.thus,i never really proceed with any of the crazy thoughts/plans.i stay me,the sane me. and oh,i realized,i haven't greet u just yet,Hello to u!

well,come to think about my life, maybe i've reached the part where i started to feel confuse,overwhelm,weak,doubtful and all of that combine together.these days, not even a day passed without me thinking about my next step in life. i doubt any 20-ers who doesn't have this symptoms. a dear friend named it, mid-20's crisis,i bet it's true!!

as right now,i'm on my way completing my 6months practical training,which only 2months left. after that i'll return back to the campus as full-time student, for another semester.which i have already decided in ahead of time to make it into another 2 semesters for me.why? because of everything that's happening to my life, as a student, it's really affected my grades,badly... from being the top student,now i almost hit rock bottom. and extending the semester seems to be the very right option for me now. just if not,i will have 8 papers to be taken and should be passed with bright if not flying colors. where i think it's very much quite impossible for me.

i've had always been a person that kept everything to myself. however,i'd like to change it, through some friends i've came to learn that bottling things inside me is not always good.sometimes we need to let it go. and i am changing it little by little; by having this blog. it is a medium that i use to share about me,about my life.haha,maybe, nobody even care about or even know about the existence of this blog of mine.

so this entry will be about i'm giving sneak peak into my life, just as other might say about their life, mine too is like a rollercoaster ride! weheeee, up and down we go! i never really write even this long before, well, at least about me. hahaha,i'm just,well, how should i put it, hmmm, in the mood of writing and sharing? ^^

i visits other blogs more than i visits mine, their words really are my source of motivation,always. not really sure why, but i always try to seek/find/fit my self in their beautiful words. most of the times, i wonder,whether or not i will have a great life as theirs,for me, there's always something new to learn from others perspectives. even it might not as always as the way i see, truthfully speaking,life has lot to teach through their stories too.i'd love to age beautifully, armed with many-many stories/memories to tell to the 'young me' (s) ,in future,who knows.

honestly speaking, i've met so many wonderful people online and i'm couldn't thank ALLAH more for that.i'm gaining so many new knowledges too.. as weird as it's sounds, it's always good to hear from others telling us about how good/bad we are.. like, we knew we're like this,yet still need someone else to point it out for us,sometimes even perfect strangers.hahaha,the beauty of life,i guess :D (i do have friends in real world though!)

i rant,rant and rant..wow,it's quite long rant!! :O even though it's nothing much, but i do feel a whole lot better after letting it out. i don't even really get what i'm trying to say too:P

i just hope that, we (me & you) could live a meaningful life, learn from each others, and as well as advising one another,wow, i'm very much at ease, as if i'm opening windows to my heart, and i do feel like saying 'WELCOME TO MYLIFE!' i'll rant/share more in future v(^___~)v

a note in my book?

i was never the type of girl who keep a diary,

but today as i randomly stroking a book,

i found a note that i wrote,

i'm going to share it here,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Date: 28th April 2010

i watched a KBSW program; 'Korean Big Mama Embraced Kenya' today.

without my permission,

the tears keep dropping down from my eyes,

while i'm watching the show.

i was so touched and moved.

i really admire, adore and mad-respect towards people that live their life doing what their heart tells them to.

Like,

how an artist kept on doing music because they love doing it,

or

travelers that never had enough of travelling because he/she has more to see and experience,

or

simply people trying out new things in life because they wanted to do so..

For instance, an online friend Alex Finch,

inspired me by challenging himself and living out alone in Korea,

just because he wanted to feel and experience the fandom at first hand.

it's so cool of him to live by his heart and to love what he's doing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's actually hella lot longer, but i'll just stop right there..

so i hope indirectly,

now u'll understand why most of my post was about artists and other people,

it's like, AMAZING how they inspire me!

it's the fact that they're living their life to the fullest,

and make the best out of every moment,

makes me envy them even more.

i want to be that kind of person,

a girl who could live as she wished & dreamed,

doing the thing that she love,

surrounded by people that she love and loves her back,

yeah, that's the kind of life i dreamed for myself..

they're not too complicated wishes, aren't they?