(Eye-Eye Captain! This is the continuation from the part one . It took me almost a year later to blog about this life-changing experience. My life has been better since the operation.)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so the quote said. But what if your eyes are the reason you're afraid of having eye contact with others, low self-esteem and poor socializing skills just because people seems to not understand you. You speaks the proper language, you dresses to impress but nothing is working. Life is miserable. Well at least that what I felt while living with strabismus.
I wasn't even born with it. It developed when I was about 10-11 years old. As a child growing up with strabismus, it certainly was not fun. The hurtful feeling whenever I talked to somebody, and they keep on looking behind their back because they thought I was looking at others behind, instead of them. Thus, I stopped talking to others, I stop making new friends. I protect myself from being hurt by others. The world seems limited. It's just you, your family and your fewwww very close friend who seemed to get you and your stupid eyes ( I used to call them like that). So, what is strabismus? Let me explain!
If you have strabismus, one eye looks directly at the object you are viewing, while the other eye is misaligned - in my case it was exotopia (misaligned outwards). And my case even more special because I'm able to control the movement of my eyes muscles. My left eye vision was 20/20 while my right eye suffers from farsightedness. Even when I left my spectacles behind, I can switch to use my left eye to see clearly. Ha! That's creepy right?!
|My strabismus-exotopia eyes|
So, growing up, I recall keeping on reading about how to treat my condition. At that time I was growing up, I'm convinced that Malaysia doesn't have the technology to treat this eye problem. Fast forward, at 28 years old, after loads of reading about it. I decided to go to the local hospital. From my reading, I'm now informed that HUSM Kubang Kerian has one of the best facilities and Ophthalmology team in Malaysia.
On April 2016 I got myself an appointment at HUSM, through a refer from Klinik Kesihatan Pasir Puteh. (Well, this can be any Klinik Kesihatan near you). I got my eyes diagnosed by the Ophthal team, and I tell you, I was one famous case! One, because I'm old ; (usually it's get fixed when we're baby / young- at that times it's called lazy eyes) and two, because I'm able to control my eyes muscle.
The team had so much fun examining me every time. After a tedious months of examining my eyes, they scheduled an operation for me on January 2017. I had another final examination at Pantai Hospital to conform my conditions, and we're set to fix my eyes!
Suddenly on 21st of December, I received a phone call asking whether or not I'm interested to fill in an operation slot for the next day because another patient cancelled off their operation. Hell yeah! I said YES, YES, YES! I got myself admitted to HUSM Kubang Kerian later on the afternoon ( I drove myself there) and my operation went well on the 22nd December 2016.
The operation was led by Prof. Dr. Shatriah Ismail, better known as Prof Shat; one of the very very well-known and top Doctor in Ophthal world. She even travels all over Malaysia to perform eyes surgery - WOW! I'm honored! My operation went for around 3-4 hours. They operated the muscles in both of my eyes. And funny thing was I woke up right away after the operation,while waiting to be transferred back to the ward, because the nurses forgot to remove the 3 layers of blankets from me-and I'm very sensitive to heat - I woke up while wiping sweat off my forehead. I can't bear being hot 😝 . On the 24th I was discharged from HUSM. And after that I just have to go to HUSM for operation follow up & check up.
|This was right after operation|
|This was about a few days later|
It's a life changing operation for me. It given me back my confident, my life!
(It's prescribed as for cosmetic purpose and not covered by insurance yah.)
Years ago, I tend to look around while talking to others, I couldn't look at others in the eye,
easy things like ordering foods & drinks over the counter was such a difficult task,
not knowing how to communicate well with minimum to no eyes contact at all-I'm devastated.
Trust me, the eyes are the gate to yourself.
If you're having eyes problems, get it fixed!
Schedule an appointment with the Ophthal team.
Don't listen to others, this is all about you.
This is my current eyes condition. There's still a very-very small deviation (mm), me & my Ophthal team will discuss about whether or not second operation needed in our upcoming appointment next year.
Till then, wish me well & happy!